A good friend invited me to her Family Reunion Celebration. For weeks, she and her mom prepared a wonderful menu, great beverages, and delicious desserts with lots of Southern hospitality. Little did they suspect, the uninvited guests we call “The Klumps,” would be arriving to eat up all the prepared foods.
It was July 4th, 2010. The day began with excitement of my friends relatives from some of the Northern states of the United States. I helped my friend decorate picnic tables while her father and brothers set up the family grill. This was a huge grill her father had made from an old oil drum. It could cook 10 pounds of chicken along with a huge side of pig. The women were upstairs putting the finishing touches on the side dishes. They prepared potato salad, crab salad, collards, turnip salad, macaroni & cheese, pasta salads and many delicious desserts.
As the family arrived, greeted with hugs and kisses, all of a sudden three large vans pull up and out jumped the uninvited guests. These people we refer to as “The Klumps,” piled out of the vans and ran towards the picnic tables. This wasn’t their Family Reunion yet they invited themselves. Before my friend’s mother could say anything to them, they grabbed paper plates and silverware, and headed straight for the buffet. I observed a dozen or more people tearing the buffet apart. The family, who was intended to eat these delicious items, just stood there and watched a group of greedy people eat everything in sight. By the time they fixed their plates, the serving trays were empty and wiped clean. Some of these uninvited people had two to three plates of food piled in front of them. All desserts, beverages and anything else they could find were devoured in seconds. Among the uninvited guests was a huge woman, around 450 pounds carrying two plates of food and a large ham bone in her mouth. It was comical watching these people destroy everything in sight.
My friend’s mother was terribly upset. She later found out that her husband, not thinking before he speaks, mentioned to these people they were having a Family Reunion. What a disaster. None of my friend’s family members had anything to eat.
After the Klump’s devoured everything, they headed for their vehicle’s feeling full and content. My friend and I ended up going for take-out at several area restaurants. We had to purchase enough food to feed the family members whom this reunion was intended for. My friend’s mother scolded her husband and told him to NEVER mention any reunion, parties, etc, where foods would be served to these people because they have no idea when to stop eating.
Moral to this story, remember the movie “The Klump’s,” watch out for uninvited guests the next time you plan an event which involves food.
By: Cheryl Brown-Avery