"Don't make anyone your first priority when all you are to them is an option".
This quote was something that my mother would often say to me growing up. I never really understood completely what she meant by it, until I reached the age of 25. Yes, sad but true, It took me all those years to realize what she was trying to tell me and what I am about to say, may not be new to you.
Most woman do not realize that this is happening to them. A man comes along and enters into their world and treats them like a queen in the beginning of the relationship and then bang! He flips the script on them and starts treating them like they are just a piece of meat and end up leaving them all chewed up, like they never meant anything to them.
I do not want to be bias on this topic because, men also go through these issues. But, I heard more complaints from woman about these issues and many of the woman I know fall into this category.They share their life's with men that often use and abuse them. Perhaps not necessarily physical abuse but, more emotional abuse then anything. Time after time they continue to come back to those men or take them back, not realizing some times that they are allowing the abuse to continue. They have it set in their minds that the men will change for them but, does it really every happen?
No it does not and I realized this in my early twenties and believe me I am very glad that I did because, I used to easily get swept of my feet and although I could clearly see all the signs that I was being used, I remain with these men no matter what I've seen or heard because, I was in love or at least that is what I thought and I wasted a lot of my youth and now I am regretting it.
Women are not safe from this topic either. There are also women in this world, who do the same to men. This is a repeated cycle of people who no longer trust one another and cannot seem to be able to communicate what they feel. The list goes beyond this. Women and men use each other on the daily basis, for whatever reasons that they may have. These are some of the reasons why I decided to this write this article. I wanted to stress to people that they must stop falling victim of this quote and also to stop doing others this way.
We all need to stop letting just anyone into our life's, especially when we have children involved. We are their first teachers and they learn to be the way they are because this is what we are showing them. Remember "You reap what you sow!" If a person really loves you, they will not use you. If anyone makes you feel used, then more than likely you are being used. What you need to do is get up and walk away from that situation get out of that spotlight right now!
Yes, I am talking to you, straight and to the point! (or at least the way that it was meant to be said).You need to take notice of your surroundings and here are a few ways to spot an user:
(1)They always renege when they promise you something,
(2) They always wait for you to pay for items that they need such as clothing,
(3) They are always making excuses,
(4) You are paying for their phone bill every month or
(5) You are always paying for personal items that they can afford for themselves but, they rather you help them help themselves. If any of these things sounds familiar to you then, my dear friend you are being used.
On that note, please do not allow anyone to make you feel like you are just an option to them. I have many female friends who often call me to complain that their man is never home or doing many of the things that I have mentioned in this article. They often tell me that, they do not get any appreciation for the things that they do. I am also telling you these things from my own experiences. I've learned that when a person truly loves you, they will never refuse to be there for you in your time of need or at least try to meet you half way.
With all things considered, I am pleased that I have lived and learned and that I can share this knowledge with you today. Please note that I will never allow any of these things to happen to me again. I also want to insist that you start investing a little more time on getting to know who you are dealing with. Take some time for yourself and try to do some positive things with your life such as: like going back to school, learning a new trade, learning a new language or anything else that you rather do for yourself.
At the end of the day it is you that needs to be happy. If you suspect that you are being used, it is probably because you are being used. Do not wait until is too late and that person you are sitting or laying next to has taken so much from you, that when you meet the right person, you become the user.
By: Fiordaliza Charles