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MindHe knew that it would all end once he took his first shot. Martin was in a state of madness with nowhere to escape and things were happening fast. But it was so far out of his control. They were yelling at him and telling him to do things he knew were wrong. But he tried to fight them off and get them to leave him alone. Martin knew when he woke up in the morning that they were waiting for him and trying to convince him that he had to do it. It was giving him terrible headaches, he just had to escape.


They kept telling him that he had to take charge, had to get revenge and the time was now. “Make everyone pay who didn’t listen to him,” they said. It was like a chant being repeated over and over again. “How could you call yourself a man, if you don’t stand up for yourself,” was what they told him every chance they could. The more he heard them say these things the weaker he became.

First Martin had to get the gun from his father. This would show them that he was getting back at the others and taking a stand. It was his turn for revenge. Knowing just where his father kept his guns, all he needed was the keys to get in the case. But his father hadn’t talked to him in weeks because of him quitting school and moving out. It would be better to wait for his mom to get home alone so he could get in and get to the case.

They never understood him and doted on his brother while paying him little or no attention. They thought he made up lies when he told them about the people that kept picking with him. But it was true and Martin could not take much more. Matter of fact this was the last straw, he was taking his life back. This was as much for them as for him.

Martin stood at the corner as he saw his father pulling off and then began to make his way to the house. He knocked on the door and waited for his mom to answer.

“Hey ma, I missed you,” he said as she let him in the door.

“Don’t give me that I miss you mess, you should have never left,” and with that she turned and walked away.

What they don’t understand is that he had to get out. They looked at him all the time as if he was such a disappointment when really he just needed them to listen to him. That’s the problem no one listened, no one understood. But once Martin took care of this mess he felt life would be easier for everyone.

Telling his mom he had to go to the bathroom, he instead made his way to get the keys to get the gun out of the case. Once he retrieved the gun he went in the front and sat down for awhile with his mom. But she basically ignored him and today that worked in his favor, because Martin was too nervous for chit chat. After a half hour, goodbyes were said and then he left.

Making his way home on the bus he began to sweat and get nervous. See he was fighting two wars and wasn’t sure which one was going to win in the end. He didn’t want to do anything bad but he just couldn’t get control enough to stop it. He wanted to see his friend Leslie who knew about all the troubles he was going through. Although, she just kept telling him he was imagining things and no one wanted him to hurt anyone. Nevertheless, Martin knew that wasn’t true because he kept hearing them all the time, especially at night.

“Now is the time, you have to do it right now,” they kept chanting. He got ready to pull out the gun. But before he could do it someone tackled him to the ground and the gun slid away. He hit his head on the bus seat so hard it knocked him out. When he finally opened his eyes he was being arrested.

Once down at the precinct they questioned him and he told them about the people who kept urging him to get revenge. They wanted to know who the people were and where they could find them. But Martin had no answers and was left to fight this battle alone. When he got his phone call he contacted Leslie. Telling her what happened. She rushed down to the station to talk with the police.

What they found out from Leslie is that the people they were looking for were the ones that were coming from his head. Now all she could hope for was that Martin could finally get the help he needed.


Schizophrenia is very real and is clinically defined as s a mental disorder that makes it difficult to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, to think logically, to have normal emotional responses, and to behave normally in social situations.

Sometimes we don’t recognize the sign in our loved ones until it’s too late. Question the actions of others, if you notice situations that don’t add up dig further. We can at times have an attitude where we think that maybe it’s just normal teenage behavior and then when they are older find out it was more than we thought. Don’t be afraid to get help and ask questions, it just may save a loved one someday.

By: Tomica Bonner




Last modified onThursday, 20 May 2010 22:15
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